Neighbor News
No More Failing Victims of Domestic Violence
It's No More Week, a time to reflect on what we can do to better protect victims of domestic violence, in New Jersey and across the U.S.

In seeking an order of protection against her abusive husband this past February, Gaberien Clevenger of Ohio did everything a victim of domestic violence is supposed to do. She called the police and filed the legal paperwork. She printed out threatening Facebook and text messages as evidence. She attended court hearings and gave detailed testimony of why the order was needed.
As court records show…
Petitioner testified that respondent has been showing aggression as if he actually wants to hit her … respondent was breaking her things, and as she reported to the police, she was in the bathroom trying to get out. Respondent would not let her out. He was pinning her in the bathroom, screaming in her face, calling her names, and would not let her move. Petitioner called law enforcement. Respondent got mad, 'freaked out,' cussed at her, slammed the door and left.
Find out what's happening in Parsippanyfor free with the latest updates from Patch.
After all of this, the court issued a ruling: Ms. Clevenger’s request for a restraining order was denied. In their dismissal, the court made the following note: “Getting angry doesn't constitute domestic violence.”
One week later, Ms. Clevenger was found stabbed to death; her body dumped in the woods. On February 11, Ms. Clevenger’s husband, the man she had asked to be protected from, was charged with her murder.
Find out what's happening in Parsippanyfor free with the latest updates from Patch.
This case is so tragic, on so many different levels. It leaves a central question of: Why? Why was this vulnerable woman denied the protection order she so adamantly sought? Why were the courts allowed to so clearly fail her?
In examining the facts of this case, it is disturbing to see that a primary driving force in Ms. Clevenger being denied legal protection may have been lingering misunderstandings about what domestic violence actually entails.
At greatest issue is the statement that “getting angry doesn’t constitute domestic violence.” Actually, it does, when that anger results in harassing and threatening Facebook messages (in which the abuser told the victim that he wished her dead); when the anger leads to terroristic threats of physical violence; and when the anger drives threatening actions that can rise to the level of false imprisonment or criminal restraint, such an abuser keeping his victim trapped and under threat in a small room.
Let me make this clear: You do not need to be hit to be a victim of domestic violence.
Here in New Jersey, domestic violence is defined by the New Jersey Prevention of Domestic Violence Act to include nineteen separate crimes, including assault (which can the threat or attempt to commit such an action), harassment and cyber harassment, terroristic threats, criminal restraint and criminal imprisonment, sexual assault, burglary and criminal trespass. Only one crime needs to be present for the full protection of our DV laws to kick in.
You may also be interested in:
Protect Yourself From Cyberstalking in 2020
3 Ways to Recognize Financial Abuse
Free Help for Domestic Violence Victims
Frankly, it is shocking to see a domestic violence court in 2020 brush away a defendant’s actions as simply the byproduct of someone in a bad mood. We have federal and state laws in place to protect victims, but they clearly were not used to their fullest extent in Ms. Clevenger’s case, leaving her in harm’s way.
In case you are wondering if this is an isolated incident, it unfortunately is far from it.
In Australia, also in February, Hannah Clarke and her three children were burned to death. Her ex-partner and the father of her children has been charged for the murders.
Speaking with the press, Ms. Clarke’s mother has shared that her daughter had been emotional, sexually, and financially abused, but didn’t seek legal help because, as she told her mother, “I was thinking it wasn’t abuse because he never hit me.”
According to recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, more than half of female homicide victims — 55% — were killed in connection to intimate partner violence; and in about 10% of those cases, homicide victims experienced some form of violence in the preceding month.
This week is No More week, and so let’s do what we can to stop more of these tragedies by saying…
No More missing the signs.
No More misunderstanding.
No More failing victims of domestic violence.
About Bari Z. Weinberger, Esq.
Family law expert, Bari Z. Weinberger, is an award-winning family lawyer and founder of Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, New Jersey’s largest divorce and family law firm. Bari is a certified matrimonial attorney, a certification held by only about 2% of attorneys in the state, and is experienced family law mediator. She frequently represents high profile divorce and child custody clients and is a staunch advocate for the rights of domestic violence victims. She is also a published author and frequent media contributor on divorce, domestic violence, and family law for both local and national audiences.