The Sheets Hit The Fan When We Asked About Scented Laundry Products: Block Talk

Readers let the, ahem, dryer sheets fly when we asked them what to do if they’re bothered by a neighbor’s scented laundry products for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column.

Fragrances don’t cause a problem for most people, but some scents may contain ingredients that can trigger allergic reactions, asthma and migraines in some sensitive groups, according to published research.

Many readers weren’t overly sympathetic. There are far worse smells, like a neighbor’s cigs and weed, according to a West Hartford (Connecticut) Patch reader JayDee, who said “people can chew tobacco or eat gummies” as long as they “stay out of my air.”

But dryer sheets? Pshaw.

‘Sucks To Be You’

“Seriously? This is really beyond the scope,” said Plainfield (Illinois) Patch reader Lanie. “Find a way to cope and stay out of your neighbor’s business.”

“OMG, grow up and wear a mask,” said a Barrow (Georgia) Patch reader. “You can control what’s in your house, but you can’t control the rest of the world.

“I have migraines,” the reader went on, “but I’m certainly not going to tell my neighbors that they can’t do their laundry.”

“Go inside. The same as you would if you have allergies, if the mosquitoes are biting, if there is wildfire smoke, if they are mowing their lawn, if they are listening to their radio loudly, if they are smoking cigarettes (or weed), etc.,” said Molly, a Newtown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader. “The issue is yours to overcome. It’s their property and their laundry.”

“Does the neighbor do laundry all day?” asked Minnetonka (Minnesota) Patch reader Susan. “If not, shut your windows until they’re done.”

“Seriously, it’s too bad. Sucks to be you, deal with it,” said Connecticut Patch reader Sck, who thinks there’s a larger issue at stake.

“That’s what is wrong with this country. Saying ‘mind your own business’ doesn’t seem to exist anymore,” Sck said. “What one person may like, another may not. That’s just the facts, and you don’t have the right to keep sticking your nose into everything someone else does, so just STOP.”

‘Eye Rolling And Denial’

Actually, no, said San Anselmo-Fairfax (California) Patch reader Cindy, who favors a ban on chemically scented laundry products.

“This is a health issue that has too often been dismissed with eye rolling and denial,” Cindy said. “Corporations … need to be held accountable. There is no reason for scented laundry products; all laundry products should be scent-free and with as safest hypoallergenic ingredients as possible.”

Elgin (Illinois) Patch reader S. gets migraine headaches “from whatever they are using on their clothes when they’re being dried.”

S. gets a blast of fragrance from the dryer vents on houses on both sides. The occupants are not fluent in English, and they’re all friendly, but S. hasn’t found a way to explain the health issue.

“I’m bummed not to be able to enjoy my yard or open windows when it’s happening,” S. said.

‘Maybe You Need To Shower More’

Jo, an Enfield (Connecticut) Patch reader, also gets a double shot of fragrance.

“I have neighbors on both sides of me that appear to use the same dryer sheets, and it makes me cough every time I smell it,” Jo said. “They’re both marijuana smokers, so I don’t know if that’s why they use such strong-smelling dryer sheets, but it’s obnoxious.”

She’s not sure of the solution, but suggested manufacturers “eliminate the most obnoxious scents and make them a little more user-friendly for everyone who has to smell it.”

Also, Jo said, “If you smell to the point you need to use such heavily scented dryer sheets or detergent, maybe shower more.

“I knew a lady who put so much perfume on that you could literally smell where she walked outside 10 minutes after she was gone,” she continued. “It’s excessive and unnecessary. Not everyone is going to enjoy the scents you chose, so be more considerate. This goes for men also; some seem to bathe in cologne. It’s obnoxious.”

Carolyn, a California Patch reader, would like to see an all-out ban on scented dryer sheets due to “known health hazards.”

“Some scented detergents are nearly as bad,” Carolyn said. “But those damned dryer sheets really need to go away.”

‘Politely Discuss It’

Carolyn thinks the problem can generally be solved with good communication.

“Politely discuss it with your neighbor,” Carolyn said. “They’re probably unaware that the stuff is toxic and dangerous. They might get curious and learn more, realizing that it’s bad for them, too. In any event, they might be willing to stop using it, if they’re decent human beings.”

Angie, a Temecula (California) Patch reader, agreed, but with some caveats.

“I'd buy one box of the unscented sheets and bring it over to my neighbor. Then, in a pleasant, non-confidential way, I’d tell them my problem. Own the issue. Place yourself at their mercy,” Angie said.

“I believe it is wise not to point a finger at them, but to build them into the ‘hero’ they can be if they switch products.” Angie said.

“Pray, then talk to your neighbor,” said Bethesda-Chevy Chase (Maryland) Patch reader Jackie, who added, “I believe one day all these unnecessary fragrances will be banned.”

Di, a Virginia Patch reader, “lucked out.”

“I live in a condo building, and it has to be cleaned with unscented products. Luckily, someone more important had the same problem, so the board had to provide unscented cleaning supplies,” Di said.

The building management company tried to eliminate the requirement after the complaining resident moved.

“So I had my doctor write to the board and management company,” Di said.

It’s not a perfect solution. “When I go outside, I can smell the scented products, but I can’t do anything about it,” Di said.

Peabody (Massachusetts) Patch reader Shelley has a similar problem. She suffers from allergies and asthma, and gets headaches when the scent is too strong. She likes to keep her sliding door open when the weather is nice, but said her balcony becomes “off limits” on laundry days.

“I’m in a condo, so I don’t know which neighbor, either my building or the building across from my balcony is using scented products,” Shelley said. “I suffer from allergies and asthma, so I get headaches and leave to another room. But I can't guess where the smell comes from, which unit.”

Shelley said she hopes people become more aware of the issue “and either refrain from using dryer sheets, or do [their laundry] late at night, if possible, after dark [when she is] less likely to be on the balcony.”

‘She Claims To Not Know’

Brighton (Michigan) Patch Michelle tried to explain the problem to her neighbor, with little success.

“It’s so bad!” said. “I’m not totally sure it’s her dryer sheets, but the fragrances around the front yard and back are strong. No, I cannot use either my front yard or back. My allergies are so affected, it’s awful! I’ve talked to her, asking what she is using that has fragrance, she claims to not know.”

“It is a problem,” said Shelby-Utica (Michigan) Patch reader Terry. “It seems that more and more things come with stronger and stronger fragrance. Some things you can no longer even buy without fragrance. I think the companies making them are to blame. I'm not normally allergic, but I’ve had a small allergic reaction to scented tissues.”

“First, always just communicate in a neutral way about your issues with the neighbor. Possibly suggest they do laundry at night or during the day when you aren't in your yard. Try dryer balls instead — one-time cost and no chemicals,” said Homer Glen-Lockport (Illinois) Patch reader Sue said.

“Many times, people don’t realize how harmful fragrance is to themselves and others,” Sue continued. “Sometimes just bringing up the conversation can resolve the problem.”

‘The Stink Awakens Me’

“I think the first step is to talk with your neighbors and ask if they are willing to switch products,” said New City (New York) Patch reader J. “I would start with how it affects your health. If they need some more convincing, then explain the health and pollution issues. Appeal to kindness as neighbors.”

J. explained the issue to the couple next door. It worked, sort of.

“Half of the couple was very agreeable, super kind, said ‘we are neighbors, so of course.’ The other half of the couple went along with this until things were not going well between them,” J, said. “Then the other half of the couple refused to use unscented products and would not speak with me. They also used other room plug-ins and other highly fragrant and polluting products. There was no solution and it was very stressful.”

When the couple moved, the landlord asked the new tenants to use only fragrance-free products. They agreed

“They are just moving in, and I hope will be cooperative and considerate,” J. said. “A very stressful and anxiety-invoking experience.”

“This has been a real problem for me, which I have been reluctant to address,” Larkspur-Corte Madera (California) Patch reader Mary.

“I guess I should politely talk to my offending neighbors, advising them of my sensitivity to synthetic fragrances,” Mary said. “This is a big issue for me, living in a condominium complex. My neighbors frequently do laundry at 1 a.m. I sleep in an upstairs bedroom, and the stink awakens me, coughing. I have to close my slider door. Not fun on a hot night when you need cooler, fresh air.”

Yorba Linda (California) Patch reader Fran has given up.

“I go back inside my home because my neighbor would not be able to handle the truth that some people actually have health problems from inhaling scented products,” Fran said. “I would be shocked if the majority of people would understand the problem.”

‘Don’t Be Surprised If They Laugh’

Danbury (Connecticut) Patch reader Meg would like to see a local ordinance prohibiting the use of scented products or activities that create “scent pollution” in areas where people live very close to one another.

“There are laws restricting noise; the same should be enacted for scent,” Meg said, suggesting that people whose health is affected by scented products contact city officials about how to establish a local ordinance.

In the meantime, she said, extend an olive branch to the neighbor in the form of unscented laundry products and explain how their use of scented products affects you.

“Maybe mention it to them (and not be surprised if they laugh)?” said CrankyB, who reads Patch local news sites in Virginia and Rhode Island.

“Civilization is doomed, given how very mentally and physically weak many people seem to be,” CrankyB said.

“Not to sound like a jerk, but your choices are suck it up, or move,” said Natick (Massachusetts) Patch reader Jim. “This is a personal choice that happens in someone else’s home, and since your neighbor’s not breaking the law, there’s nothing you can do about it.

“You could try to ask your neighbor if he’d switch to an unscented product, or even buy him one. Other than that, there’s nothing you can do, unfortunately,” Jim said.

About Block Talk

Block Talk is a regular Patch feature offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

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